A close friend of mine died nearly two years ago. I cried for a few days following the news, he was too young to die – I kept telling myself. If only I had known it would happen, then I would have taken more care of our friendship – however I just assumed that he was going to be there for a long time into the future. We had spoken about visiting Rome together, now I am going to Rome with Anna and memories of Dara come back to mind, especially the sadness of my loss and his lost potential.
My Grandfather died last week, he was old and had lived a long life. My best memoiries of him are when I was quite young, when he played the role of a traditional grandparent. I learned the pleasures of the countryside from him, of being away from people, the towns and cities, and I felt the freedom of the hills of Scotland. Not only the freedom but the beauty, the chance to see it and the knowledge to know it was there for me any time I wanted or needed that peace.
I have one laugh in my head from the day he died, though I did not know it was so close. I was in the hospital for a couple of hours during the night and the nurse asked him if he could walk – really wanting to know if he was able to walk to the toilet – “Aye” he said, “Ah can walk fur miles.” An there he lay with the oxygen mask on and the wires connecting him to the monitors.
Walking in the countryside has become a part of my life since my childhood – it has not been a straight line – I left it – also him – for a few years, finding other things that were important. However I came back and unlike Dara I got to say goodbye, I though don’t know if that make any difference.
I thank him now for that early introduction to the countryside and the wonders it will release to me every time I go there. Perhaps with some help from him and Dara I feel privileged that I can close my eyes and see the hills of Scotland where I have walked, the low hills of Ireland, the towering peaks of Austria, the forests of the Czech Republic and the mesita of Spain.
I am grateful today that they lived and pushed me past my ignorance and both helped to educate me in some ways.
Thanks.